Believe it or not, it is really hard to write a lot of what I am feeling. Mostly because I don't want to say the wrong things, and have someone hate me for it.
Well, here's the thing. That person already walked out of my life, drove away, and never returned. But I am supposed to sit here, continually being strung along... hoping that things will work out. Manipulated into thinking that things are going to get better... when in all reality, it has never been true.
One word comes to mind about how I am feeling at this exact moment.
Abandoned
I know that I am not perfect, I make mistakes, I screw up. I get angry, upset, loud, or quiet. I didn't force you out, I didn't make you leave. I never made you choose.
The problem is, I still want this to work. Why? Because I believe that anything is possible. Even after all that has happened.
Seems to be going quite well, without us... then obviously, you don't need or want us.
It doesn't matter that I am crying, or that I am distraught over this... because I don't think at any point in time, that I ever mattered. Like I said, prove me wrong. You just haven't given me any reason to trust, to believe. This is what you want?
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