It just doesn't matter, I mean, why should it?
You feel sad, and you want to talk to your friends about it... "Drama Queen" "Get over yourself" "Move On"
What if something happened to me, and I was no longer here... would anyone notice? Would anyone care? Would anyone miss me? I guess it wouldn't matter...
But it does matter, to me. I'm still here, yet I feel so alone.
"the world is not out to get you..." Of course it isn't, never thought it was.
Why I even write these blogs anymore... people "read" them, but never have anything to say.
You listen, to listen.
You listen, and reply.
You listen, and just be there.
Create an ally through your listening. Some day, you will need someone to listen to you.
Don't pretend to listen, and act like you were there... because you weren't. Blank eyes, crappy responses. Robotic, unsympathetic, no empathy at all. You will never understand.
Depression is not selfish, you don't just think about yourself. You think about the ones you want to talk to, share with, compare notes with... but then you think, "I don't want to bother them with my problems, when they have problems of their own." Therefore, thinking about them and their problems... feeling guilty for even wanting to mention anything going on with yourself.
So, right now... It just doesn't matter.
FUCK IT.
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