Locked Inside My Head (poem)

So much pent up frustration,

words seem to keep failing me.
Letting too much get me down,
instead of getting back up.

I know I said and did stupid shit,
but none of that matters now.
Time to move on, time to let go,
it's just a matter of time now.

Why do I care so much?
Why does everything have to matter?
Why do I work so hard...
oh, that's right... it's me.

Proud of who I am today,
proud of who I've become.
Still a work in progress,
but at least I'm making something...
a better version of myself.

Took Some Time...

I know that it's been awhile since I have written anything besides poetry. I have been taking some time off from writing (even though I really didn't want to) and working on some personal things. Here is an update...

I started going back to college in January and finally found out what I want to pursue as a career choice. As of right now, I am working on attaining 2 types of certificates before I start working on going for the actual degree. Office Management and Medical Receptionist are the 2 certificates I've decided to achieve. I am really enjoying my classes that I've signed up for! Medical Terminology is, by far, my most favorite class! This semester I am taking Bookkeeping and Supervision, online of course. I did get to visit the campus this year and I absolutely love what they've done since I was there last. Hopefully soon, I will be able to take some on-campus classes.

I also started working at a local place, where I've worked before and love it. Some weeks I only work about 20 hours, but others I try to work 30+. Would like to eventually work full-time, but there have been a lot of changes recently... so that makes it hard to make it work. I do love my job and it's flexible with school and being able to be home with my son.

The hardest part of my life that I am about to tell you is... (if you haven't been told, or if you haven't noticed) that I am now divorced. Why, you ask, is that the hardest part? Because growing up, I believed that divorce was never an option and that every relationship just needed work and time to make things better. Well... that wasn't the case for me. Three years have gone by and I just had to say enough is enough. If you have any questions, please feel free to contact me at any time. I don't want to say too much "out loud".

As for my son, he is going to be 10 soon... so crazy!! He just started 4th grade too!! Where does the time go? I don't want to put out too much info, but everything is going well for him. Just keeping up with doctor's appts and such.

Hopefully, I can reincorporate writing into my schedule... I miss it so much! It is such a huge part of my life... that I feel lost without it. Goodnight!

To Never Have Again (Poem)

Time has come and gone away,
too much time has been lost.
Not so much has been wasted,
just forgotten and to never have again.

Darkness washes over this life,
like the night sky when the sun goes down.
Only praying that the light returns,
when it just grows darker.

Moonless, starless, darkness of night
no shadows to hide
no light to dance around in.
Suffocating, feeling the world closing in.

Feeling like forever and more time has been lost,
the light begins to show itself on the horizon.
Returning that tiny bit of hope that never faded,
trusting that the light will always return.